


The New Kid

by SailingOtherShips (TWDObsessive)



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Denial, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, POV First Person, POV Lukas Waldenbeck, Self-Loathing, Sexual Confusion, Sexual Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 14:12:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11945928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWDObsessive/pseuds/SailingOtherShips
Summary: Lukas can't quite understand why he's so interested in the new kid that's moved to Tivoli.





	The New Kid

**Author's Note:**

> My second fic for this fandom. I just had to do another in Lukas' POV. This is when they first meet (pre-canon) up to the first kiss in the cabin.

I noticed him right away. It was a small town and Philip was new, so of course it was natural that he'd catch people’s attention. He didn't look like anyone else in Tivoli, he was different somehow. There was a mystery to him behind his thick dark hair and those deep brown eyes. I usually didn't notice people’s eye color. Hell, I’m not even sure I knew Rose’s. But Philip’s were so dark that it was hard not to notice. Everyone else probably noticed, too. 

When Philip came into my English class, I watched him. English was boring so it made the time pass. He wore a soft pout through the whole class and mostly kept his eyes down. He didn't seem concerned about making friends or fitting in. He just came and he went. Each day I would see him in English class or by the lockers and each day he came and each day he went, never making eye contact with anyone. 

It wasn't unusual to wonder about someone new. Everyone was doing it. Rose heard he was from the city and Tommy had found out he was staying with foster parents. I spent quite a few English classes sneaking glances at Philip and wondering what his life must have been like to make him end up in foster care. I’m just curious like that. He really didn’t seem like a rebel or a druggie or a troublemaker but he also didn’t seem like he was raised by those types either. He had a confident, unafraid air to him that I have to admit, I was slightly jealous over. He was smart, he answered all the questions correctly when he was called on and he was never unkempt. His hair was always perfect, his sand-colored skin always smooth and flawless, and it looked like his foster parents maybe bought him new clothes. 

I had valid reasons to wonder. My mom died when I was only six so I was halfway to orphan myself and the way my dad works, I wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up in an early grave too. What must it be like to have no one? My dad wasn’t the easiest to talk to but at least he was there. And I may not have been as interested in Rose as I pretended to be out of politeness, but she listened to me occasionally and sometimes even took pictures when I was practicing for motocross.

A few times between classes I thought about striking up a conversation with the guy, but I never knew what to say. I had to eventually stop looking over at him during English because a few times Philip looked back at me, like he could feel the weight of my eyes on him. He had long eyelashes. Maybe that was what made his eyes stand out like they did. 

About a month later, I saw Philip getting out of the Sheriff’s jeep at the house down the road with Helen and Gabe. They must have been his foster parents. He’d been so damn close the whole time, but still, I wasn’t really good at conversation or talking at all in general. Half the reason the kids at school thought I was cool was because I never said much, let everyone else do all the talking. Rose said it made me mysterious, and in hindsight, I realized that’s what was making Philip so mysterious, too. Maybe if I finally talked to him, I could stop this unusual curiosity with the kid.

I started riding my motorbike out past the Sheriff’s house very purposefully and finally came up on the opportunity. Philip was taking a walk in the direction of my ramps, so I gunned my bike past him then made a sharp turn back and stopped right in front of him. I took off my helmet and shook my hair out.

“You’re the new kid,” I said, for lack of anything better to say. I finally got a good close look at him. His eyes were even more haunting and dark up close and he had a strong jawline. I was surprised none of the girls at school were talking about how cute he was. He seemed like the type of guy that girls would think was cute.

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“I’m Lukas.”

“Philip,” he said.

I started walking my bike along with Philip trying hard to think of conversation.

“Helen and Gabe- they your foster parents?”

He looked at me carefully like he was studying all of my features and committing them to memory before he gave me a terse nod. I smiled, nervous and filled with butterflies for some strange reason. I get nervous easily and I’m prone to anxiety. I know that about myself.

“My mom’s dead. Still have my dad, though,” I said awkwardly.

Philip nodded again, his mouth in that same soft pout like always, lips parted just slightly with eyes as mysterious and inviting as the wide entrance of a dark cave.

“My mom’s not dead. She’s just…” Philip looked down at his feet and kept walking to keep up with me. “She needs to get clean before I can go back home.”

“Oh. She’s on drugs?”

“Yeah.”

“For how long?”

Philip looked over at me, confused. “Forever,” he answered.

We walked in silence for a while. I wasn’t used to other people being as private and quiet as I was and I started feeling stupid for even trying to talk to him. 

“You’re good on that bike,” Philip said looking at the bike and then up at me.

“Oh yeah. Thanks. I’m training for the junior circuit. Gotta get some more video of my jumps. Rose, my girlfriend, she was supposed to come over to do it but cancelled on me. I think she gets bored. Motocross isn’t for everyone I guess.”

“I like it,” Philip said quickly. “I can take some video on my cell if you want.”

I smiled at that, an unexplainable warmth spreading through me. “Yeah, that’d be cool, man.” I grabbed the spare helmet I had strapped on the back and handed it to him. “Get on, it’s out in the woods a little ways.”

The way Philip smiled at me was surprising. It was a smile that seemed to have secrets and hidden meaning but also hope and a glimmer of something I couldn’t place. He put on the helmet and got on back, his arms sliding around my waist. 

I rarely rode with anyone on back. Rose once in awhile but not very often. I’d forgotten how nice it felt to have someone’s warm body against mine. It was a stupid thing to notice. Philip was a guy and guys shouldn’t make you feel that way. But if I thought about it, warmth was warmth so I guess that’s why it was so noticeable.

We stayed out at the ramps for a couple hours, me getting lots of air time on the bike and Philip filming it and posting it to my channel. It was cool to ride back up to him after each jump and see his smile. He actually liked watching me ride. He was excited with me, like he was happy to see me happy and I really didn’t have anyone else like that. I think that’s why I made plans with him to do it again on the weekend.

I didn’t talk to him in school the next few days. I don’t know why. He seemed to be almost invisible in those hallways. No one talked to him and it kinda made me sad for some reason. Hell, for all I knew he liked to be left alone. But he did seem to really enjoy hanging out at the ramps. I guess he was complicated. Aren’t we all?

That weekend I was so excited to meet up with him which was weird because I rarely get all that excited over anything much less just hanging out with some random dude from school in the woods.

He filmed more of my stunts and then we sat on the hood of the old broke down car out by the barn looking them over. 

“This one. This is the one,” Philip said as he looked at me with that sweet smile. If he tried to talk to some of the girls at school I felt sure he’d have a girlfriend in no time. But there was something about that thought that turned my stomach. I did want him to have any other friends. I kinda wanted him for myself. I knew it was selfish and didn’t make any sense but there was a peace I felt just being alone with him, talking about nothing at all and looking out over the sky.

As we sat there, it hit me like a Mac truck. Sitting there passing a coke back and forth, looking at the sunset and talking about our favorite foods. I looked at him as he gazed out in the distance, ran my eyes from his shoes up to the top of his head, trying to wrap my mind around my sudden and unexpected thoughts. He was cute. _I_ thought he was cute. And as he continued talking about the best lemon poppyseed bread he’d ever had, I realized why I’d been so interested. _I was interested._ It made no damn sense. I’m not even gay. But as I watched him talk, I could imagine his lips on mine. I tried to get the images out of my head, thinking about Rose, but I had no control over it. 

He looked over at me and I know he saw me staring at his lips. He looked into my eyes, probably trying to read my mind, and then down at my lips and he smiled, looking back out at the sunset. 

“What?” I asked in a more accusatory tone than I intended.

“Nothing,” he said, that same smile playing about those full lips of his, his tongue licking over the bottom one before he bit at it with his teeth. 

“I gotta go,” I said and ran to my bike and started it. 

Philip stood and walked over. “Can I get a ride back?” he asked.

I couldn’t. I couldn’t have him pressed up against me like that right now. “I’m sorry Philip but I’m late. I need to go straight home now or the old man is gonna ground my ass.” I took off before he could respond. Because what was happening to me was not supposed to happen.

Part of me wanted to keep my distance, but the other part just thought about Philip day and night. We’d gone out a few more times riding after I thought I’d gotten control of my thoughts. Rose wanted to blow me and I was gonna let her, so I knew I was straight and all was good. Nothing needed to be confusing. I just think too much is all. I’ve always had trouble turning off my thoughts and my worries. This was no different. 

A couple weeks later, we found ourselves at my dad’s cabin because my bike was low on gas. Sometimes I’d steal some from him. I knew it was wrong but I’d do it anyway. I don’t know why.

We talked about the cabin and that dad usually had beer in the mini fridge and before I knew it we were sharing the only one in there and sitting on the bed looking at the videos he shot that evening. They were really good, his hands never shook while he was shooting and he always followed through to the landing. 

“You’re amazing. I mean, you’re awesome,” I said as I looked at the videos on his phone and then up at him. Once I met his gaze I couldn’t look away. We locked eyes and I’d never felt so awkward in my life. I couldn’t look away, I couldn’t speak. The thoughts I’d been having came rocketing back to me. He was so close, our legs touching, his lips parted and before I knew it he’d leaned in as if to kiss me. 

My gut reaction was to slap him away and that’s what I did. It wasn’t right. I wasn’t that guy, I wasn’t. 

I didn’t move off the bed though, and I looked at him. He was so hurt and surprised. What the hell was it that made him think he could try to do that?

“I’m sorry… I thought…” and he stood to leave but I’d grabbed onto his jacket sleeve and pulled him back down next to me.

“No wait,” I pleaded. I was so fucking confused. I _wanted_ his mouth on mine, my body screamed it and my heart screamed it. But my brain couldn’t stop the repetition- I’m not that guy, I’m not that guy…

I thought, maybe if I let him kiss me, maybe I’d realize that it was just all a mistake and that I really wasn’t that guy. That was my rationale for what happened next. But in reality, I just wanted to taste his lips and feel him close to me.

I ran my hand up to the side of his face, looking at him with fear in my eyes. He froze like a deer in headlights and gave me time to work things out in my mind. Finally I leaned forward and just kissed him quickly, pulling my head back like I was afraid my lips would burn. But I couldn’t pull the rest of myself away, couldn’t take my eyes off his and this time when he leaned into me, I let his mouth rest on mine, his lips parted and mine slotted into his, my head turning sideways to try and devour as much of him as I could. If no one knew, then it would be like it never happened, so I pulled away for just a moment. 

“No one’s gonna know about this. Because you’re never gonna tell,” 

He nodded, his eyes growing even darker and it was clear how much he wanted me. Rose never even looked at me like that. I gave in and we kissed more, hands now searching and soft moans coming from one of us, maybe both. I really couldn’t tell. It felt like a hazy dream and by the time our shirts were off, skin against skin and mouth against mouth, my head was spinning in confusion. I wasn’t supposed to like him this way, wasn’t supposed to want this. But the feel of him against me felt pure and perfect and comforting. It’s a shame I wasn’t gay because it was going to hurt to not do this again. We weren’t even done and I already wanted more... but I wasn’t that guy. I wasn’t.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I would love to hear from you if you enjoyed this!


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